so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize