I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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