I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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