NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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