Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize