I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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