I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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