hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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