I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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