dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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