I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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