Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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