your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize