tell your sister to shave her snatch
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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