the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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