Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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