i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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