Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize