Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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