hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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