I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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