who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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