im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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