ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
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The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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