and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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