Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
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Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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