If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize