Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you traded sex for a burrito?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize