Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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