get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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