at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize