If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize