I'm drive I can fine osifer
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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