fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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