Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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