return my video game
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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