She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
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He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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