I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
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Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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