i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am naked and annoyed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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