If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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