I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize