I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize