day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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