two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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