Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize