Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize