I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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