Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize