for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize