Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize